What I love about this time of year is the focus on light. Whether it’s the Christmas lights on a tree, the celebration of the sun returning for more hours of the day with the winter solstice, or the use of candles for Kwanzaa or Chanukah… all of these holidays celebrate light. Even with all the differences in the details of these holidays there is this shared element of fire and it unites us more than divides us as our year comes to a close. The light however isn’t as special without some darkness. Ever light a candle on a sunny day? A candle is not as special as when you light it in a dark room, right? Same holds for your path to parenthood. Although there are many dark and cold nights with no baby in sight, one day he or she will arrive and bring a sparkle which will light even the darkest corners of your mind.
Don’t get me wrong, a child won’t cure anxiety or depression that can come with waiting for a child, but a child will light up your world in a way that helps you to enjoy life in the present moment. Having months or years of a fertility or an adoption journey brings perspective, a perspective that some parents don’t ever get. As a mother, you will be less likely to sweat the small stuff as much as your peers who may have had an easier path to parenthood. When you find yourself freaking out over which crib to purchase, you can take a moment and realize that this is a problem that you were dreaming of having. You can pause and reflect that you have a child to put into the crib, which is way more important than choosing the wrong style of bedding.
You see you’ve been in the dark for some time and you may have started to get used to it. This is not who you are. You are here to shine your light. You are here to be the light. I invite you to be the lighthouse which guides the soul of your child into your loving home. As you celebrate the season this year, whether you are giving to others, receiving, or celebrating, find ways to bring your special light into your actions. Bring that sparkle into your world by taking time for self-care and then caring for others. Perhaps you can try saying this mantra over the remainder of this holiday season by Matt Kahn …“I am the light, the light I am.”